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I’m still up late at night, it is an average Monday night; All of a sudden I happen to lead my thoughts into a more different direction than usual and is there where I find myself asking me the same old-boring questions about existentialism (I thought I had already overcome the whole situation).
Having a couple of ongoing goals make me feel as is worth the life I’m leading, but yet in the other hand there is this question that has been in my mind, myself and feelings since a couple of days ago; Love, what is love to me? Love is a very natural form of expression, to love is something I just cannot really put down in words or sort of label, all I can say is very simple, I’m 20, I’m a nice dude and I’m not interested in finding love, at least not now. So I wonder how this thing of being in love works?, I imagine myself feeling chills as listening that senseless love song while looking up the stars, lying down the grass and feeling the hand of your beloved one going back and forth your chest and experiencing the tangible fast beat of your heart.
Everything I just typed above might sound sort of silly but it is yet what I think, I couldn’t give another form of explanation I’ve never been really in love, sometimes a hug is just enough for me regardless where it comes from either who gives it. I’m not the sort of guy who dreams about the charming purple/green/yellow w/e color is prince, I don’t dream of a fairytale happy ending nor even crying my heart out for someone. I only picture myself as a brilliant, talented, kind and successful man in the long-run, I forgot to highlight the fact that I see myself on my own, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want either seek for somebody but I just don’t know, yet there is a piece of myself missing.
If I’m asked to describe the ideal man to me, I would say, intelligent, perceptive, gentlemanly and low profile, it sounds more likely a cheap single dating TV program with low production. To be honest and to be more rational, I met this type of kid some weeks ago, he completely fulfilled every one of my desires although from the very beginning I knew he was far from being the one for me yet I felt the luckiest man alive, just meeting him truly meant the whole world to me, will I see him again someday? I just don’t know, it is stupid but I think I’m in love (Chris you’re way rational, how could this happen to you), well he is truly the most memorable memory of summer; he already is part of my life and will be there forever.
To you: Thanks for spending the greatest two nights with me, thanks for teaching me how to wash dishes, thanks for trusting me, thank you for giving me the greatest smile every day, thanks for taking the time to stop by every time we would meet on the road, to say hello that special day for you, for captivating me, your smile, eyes and for being so hot and preppy, Love You Durham.
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