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I’d rather be home-alone feeling blue than trying to seize the day. That is my current frame of mind, if I look back in time and try to find the reason why the things went like that then there is no logic in my thoughts. I try to make my consciousness believe that everything happened for a reason, but this time there is not reason that assembles to the reality.
Am I sad? The answer so simple and basic, Yes I am, to see all my dreams (labeled as goals and expectations into a more rational context) getting shattered in just one second, it is/was something I still cannot overcome. I had put all my effort, my joys, hopes, expectations in the long-run and even some of my tears; is it Karma ¿? Or simply some sort of black curse on me ¿? Is it destiny (do I even believe in destiny?), a more rational answer would be, a form of revenge from a dude who didn’t have enough courage to face my attitude and personality.
I find myself caught in a dilemma; will I be able to overcome this form of nostalgia? Will I soon find a new reason for living? Or basically it is only a transitional and constant-changing frame of mind.
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